I cringed with despair when once again we are all assailed with more short clips of the infamous sex clip of what is said to be Anwar Ibrahim's sexcapade with a Chinese prostitute.
It was hard enough watching the first part of the clip and the dismay I felt when I first saw it. The dread of considering the implications that such a video will have on this nation's future if it is proven to be true beyond a morsel of doubt that it is really him, the man whom even I at one time wanted so much to see take over from Mahathir when the latter quit as this nation's PM?
Such a wish to see him helm this nation's course stemmed from the fact that in Anwar Ibrahim we saw the makings of an Islamic leader who started his journey towards reaching the pinnacle of Malaysia's political leadership from heading ABIM, the Malaysian Muslim Youth Brigade.
All that is now part of our nation's history as Anwar's fortune went spiraling out of control and he ended up in the slammer for 6 years, was released from prison and went on to head the Opposition Pact.
You can say that I was not exactly thrilled to see Anwar team up with the DAP and PAS to try and grab power with his 16th September ' jump ship' political ploy and strategy which eventually caved in as a result of non committal on the part of some of those Members of Parliament who were said to have nodded to his grand plan.
For someone who had religious foundations and was once heralded as the future leader of this country, both articulate and well aware of what Islam expects of him as a promising young star in UMNO who skyrocketed past old party faithfuls such as the late Tun Ghafar Baba and many others into becoming the Deputy Prime Minister under Tun Dr Mahathir, Anwar's haste in wanting to be the numero uno Head of Government and sideline Dr. M cost him dearly when the maestro Malaysian PM of all time, pulled the plug on him, stripped him bare of all his political appointments and left him back at where he had first started.
Anwar however wasn't going to take things lying down. He turned Brutus on Dr. Mahathir and forever changed the annals of Malaysian political history by going on the 'Reformasi' warpath which saw hundreds of thousands of his supporters run amok on the streets of KL.
All that is part and parcel of what Malaysian political upheavals have come to be?
When dopey Abdullah Badawi took over the reins from stern no nonsense Dr M, all those who had been toeing the line during Tun Dr M's rule started to get out of their self imposed corrals and started to rock the boat, so to speak.
Things that were considered taboo were now being spoken about openly knowing that the 5th PM wasn't as watchful and firm as Dr M.
Anwar Ibrahim's vendetta against Mahathir culminated in his turning into the BN's nemesis and he signed a pact with the Devils After Power and PAS. Opposition parties whom he once lambasted and dismissed off as unreliable ones incapable of running this country.
Today, all those nasties are conveniently forgotten and Anwar heads the Opposition Pact with a raging desire to overthrow the BN and clench his paws once and for all upon the throne of the PM at Putrajaya if that's the last thing that he does in his lifetime?
Unfortunately, he has once again become scandalized by accusations of his being a sodomite just as he was accused of way back in 1998.
Now, this sordid video has surfaced purportedly showing Anwar having a sexual tryst with a Chinese prostitute.
Whether it is really him, we don't really know due to the poor quality of the secret video recording but one thing for sure, his poor family especially his wife and eldest daughter are once again thrown into public scandal for coming to his defense and refusing to admit that it is him, their head of the family caught in action albeit it be in just black and white.
I can't imagine the extent of such shame and loss of face that such a lewd scandal involving their head of the family has befallen Dr Wan Azizah and Nurul Izzah?
It must be the worst moment in their lives and even if this blows over, the emotional and psychological scars will remain etched deep in their hearts and minds forever.
In times like these, one would expect some consideration from those out to get him for the man's reputation and honor has already been impaired beyond repair what with the constant and ceaseless onslaught against him.
But it now seems like they will not simply let him be. Looks like Anwar Ibrahim's not gonna be left alone till he gives up his quest to be the next Malaysian PM and emigrates overseas to salvage whatever is left of his reputation and remnants of his self dignity.
I can also understand the implications for this country if it is true that the fornicator featured in the b&w video shown recently as Pt 2 of what is now known as the Anwar Sex Tape is no one else but the 'Gift of God' himself, then surely we can't allow such a figure to lead this nation.
No way in hell.
Yet we as Muslims must also remember that even we ourselves, aren't exactly squeaky clean and free from sin, if we really want to be truthful?
God Knows as to who each and every one of us truly are?
What will we do when we are all resurrected in the Yaum al Qiyamah and assembled upon the Field of Mahsyar?
We will have all our past deeds be flashed before the entire gathering of humankind upon the widest HD screen we can ever imagine?
Where will we hide our faces then when our own individual screw-ups (pardon the pun) will be telecast live before the gathered generations after generations of the humankind?
On that account, Anwar and his family would then have the last laugh ~ if he is innocent of all these charges...but based upon what the forensic experts are going to furnish soon with regard to these accusations that the maverick is truly guilty as charged, it can just go either way!
Islam asks of its adherents to show mercy and compassion towards one another but in this case, many are not willing to risk having a sodomite or a lecherous adulterer end up calling the shots in Putrajaya.
Although I tend to agree with them in not wanting such a person in power upon such an eventuality, I still think that we ought to exercise a bit more restraint and not go overboard with this witch hunt.
Remember that no matter how eager we are in prejudging him, we too will one day be judged by none other than Allahu Ta'ala soon and in His Court, there is no room for any tricks or entrapments.
May Justice prevail and cool hearts rule.
Till we know the truth and nothing but the whole truth, I'd like to extend my heartfelt sympathies to Wan Azizah and Nurul Izzah.
When we who are Muslims don't care no more as to who we hurt with our rashness, then the future for this ummah becomes uncertain.
I recall reading about the situation where if we fail to be kind and compassionate to those amongst us here on Earth, then those high up in the heavens will reciprocate in kind towards us.
Dare we risk that?