Surah Ar Rum Chapter 30 Verse 21
In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful.
TransliterationWamin ayatihi an khalaqa lakummin anfusikum azwajan litaskunoo ilayha wajaAAalabaynakum mawaddatan warahmatan inna fee thalika laayatinliqawmin yatafakkaroon
The verse above is an attestation from Allah the Almighty God and Creator of us all that we are to treat our womenfolk right. We are to love them and show them mercy and compassion.
Sahih InternationalAnd of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.
The reality is that women have been and are still being mistreated in all known civilizations is conveniently ignored and no mention of it is made despite the glaring atrocities upon them that human society pretends not to see or even acknowledge to this very day.
It is a reality that women are mistreated in our world and abused not only physically but also mentally and spiritually by those who are sick and sadistic, cruel beyond words and ought to be ashamed of themselves.
These perpetrators forget that they themselves were conceived, carried for 9 or so months in the womb and with tremendous pain at the risk of losing their own lives given birth to by a woman ~ their mothers!
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala has revealed a whole Surah exclusively for us as to how to deal with our womenfolk. Surah An Nisa Chapter 4 of the Blessed Al Qur'an explains in clear detail as to how we should treat our women and accord to them their rights?
It is a shame to see many amongst the so called Muslims of the world ignore the dictates of Allah Ar Rahman Ar Rahim and mistreat their womenfolk so unjustly despite being told times and time again to be fair to their mothers, spouses, sisters and daughters and to treat them with respect, kindness and compassion in all areas of communication and relationships with them.
Yes, it is true that respect and cordiality should be accorded in mutuality but the onus is on us menfolk to be the leaders of women and not vice versa.
In my life, I have had my fair share of trials and tribulations in dealing with those who fail to appreciate the sacrifices that I have made in order that they ~ the women in my life get to live a life that's better but I choose not to dwell upon such episodes for they serve no purpose but to cause heartaches and unpleasant memories.
I found it best to move on in my life and leave them to Allahu Rabbul Alamin to deal with.
I came across this entry in a blog called muslimah2muslimah.com and couldn't help but agree with the views expressed by the womenfolk there that the comments made by an obviously sick and demented man in such an email is surely a gross misrepresentation of why the hijab is made compulsory upon the believing women of Islam?
Maybe the guy in question has failed to take note that the compulsion to control ourselves is first upon the believing men of Islam as per what the Verse # 30 Surah An Nur has to guide us :
TransliterationQul lilmu/mineena yaghuddoo min absarihumwayahfathoo furoojahum thalika azkalahum inna Allaha khabeerun bima yasnaAAoon
Sahih InternationalTell the believing men to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what they do.
We can't feign ignorance. If we are normal, rational men of understanding and know what is right from wrong, then we have no choice but to hold ourselves responsible first before starting to blame the womenfolk for all that they do!
I know that all of us men have damn big, humongous ego's to take care of but to just blindly and arrogantly demand that everyone else kowtow's to our every whim and fancy is simply taking things too much out of the limits and boundaries of justice and equality that Islam actually provides for each and every makhluk, created by Allah Azza Wa Jalla.
Sexual attraction and desire is a natural aspect of every human and creature created by Allahu Ta'ala. Yet as human beings, we are given the Faculty of Reason and taught as to how best to deal with our base instincts with regard to sex in order to differentiate us the Children of Adam Alaihis Salam from those of the animal world?
We are imbued with a natural sense of shame and modesty. When Adam Alaihis Salam and Hawwa Radhiallahu Anha were stripped of their heavenly clothes as a result of their going against Allah's Prohibition of eating the Forbidden Fruit @ the Khuldi fruit, their immediate and natural reaction upon realizing their nakedness was to try and cover their areas of modesty with the leaves of the heavenly plants.
All such plants and trees refused to give up their leaves for use by the First Couple except the Fig tree. Our Father the Prophet Adam Alaihis Salam used his fig leaf to cover his groin area whilst Our Mother Sayyidatina Hawwa Radhiallahu Anha covered her bosom areas with her long hair and crotch with her fig leaf.
In Surah An Nur Chapter 24 Verse 31, the decree is given by Allahu Ta'ala to the believing women of Islam as to how to cover their modesty :
TransliterationWaqul lilmu/minati yaghdudnamin absarihinna wayahfathnafuroojahunna wala yubdeena zeenatahunna illa mathahara minha walyadribnabikhumurihinna AAala juyoobihinna wala yubdeenazeenatahunna illa libuAAoolatihinna aw aba-ihinnaaw aba-i buAAoolatihinna aw abna-ihinna awabna-i buAAoolatihinna aw ikhwanihinna aw baneeikhwanihinna aw banee akhawatihinna aw nisa-ihinnaaw ma malakat aymanuhunna awi attabiAAeenaghayri olee al-irbati mina arrijali awi attifliallatheena lam yathharoo AAala AAawratiannisa-i wala yadribnabi-arjulihinna liyuAAlama ma yukhfeena min zeenatihinnawatooboo ila Allahi jameeAAan ayyuhaalmu/minoona laAAallakum tuflihoon
Nothing is left to chance in the Islamic faith. Even to the stage of how to conduct oneself in the toilet is taught clearly in Islam.
Sahih InternationalAnd tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their headcovers over their chests and not expose their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, their brothers' sons, their sisters' sons, their women, that which their right hands possess, or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment. And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed.
Yet the sick ones amongst the Disbelievers and the Hypocrites amongst the Ummah choose to mock and ridicule Islam's thoroughness in teaching its adherents as to how best to live their life's and take care of their personal needs and wants in this mortal temporal life here on Earth in preparation for the next in the Hereafter?
Islam does not allow injustice in our relationship towards our womenfolk yet there are many so called alims and ulamaks out there in our various worldwide Muslim communities today who do just that under the pretext of being the righteous in the day to day administration over the lives of the Muslims.
We have to call a spade just that and admit that there is just so many wrongs being committed against the womenfolk in the world today.
It is true that some women have gone on to become leaders of a few so called Muslim nations but in reality they all face a glass ceiling that not many can see out of the social and cultural barriers that have come to exist not out of religious observations but more so on the individual nation or countries traditionally inherited customs.
Life for women living in Non Muslim countries of the West would not be the same as what it is for those living in the Middle Eastern and Asian nations.
Our values and traditions aren't the same and even amongst the various countries of any particular region, social norms and local customs are so glaringly different. Just across the border, what would be considered normal for some people would be considered as grossly offensive against the day to day social customs for some.
The onus is on us Muslim menfolk to really study what our Islamic faith teaches us about the proper ways to deal with our women and give them our true love and respect to them instead of falling prey to our own ignorance and go against the Sunnah of our beloved Rasul Sallalahu Alaihi Wassallam.
There are many untruths accorded to him by the enemies of Islam through their heinous work online and in the various multimedia where they wrongly accuse the Blessed Messenger of Allah to have oppressed his loved ones.
As rational and informed Muslims, none of us Muslim men ought to fall victim to such misinformation and believe what the spawns of the Devil are spreading online and through the various forms of media, whether through the films, distorted documentaries, television programs, talk shows, forums, seminars and printed publications such as newspapers, magazines, books, brochures, leaflets, pamphlets, etc.
Yes, we have lots of work to do in order to correct ourselves and to stop the injustice towards our womenfolk but we must do so in a proper, disciplined and systematic manner.
Not go about it in a haphazard manner that will derail us from our vision and mission to uphold Islamic justice and equality for all amongst the ummah especially towards our beloved ones from our fairer sex in our ummah.
The Blessed Prophet Muhammad Rahmatulil Alamin enjoined us to be the best towards our wife / wives.
It is true that there are quite a number of restrictions placed upon the believing women of Islam but if one is to study as to the reasons why such restrictions are placed upon them, one would come to learn that it is for their own good.
There are a lot of people out there who would not waste a moment in taking unfair advantage over the weaker ones amongst the women and many have come to an unfortunate end as a result of their frailty.
Those of us who read the newspapers and learn of the various crimes against women worldwide would surely attest to this as a matter of fact and rational women out there should have no problems in agreeing to this.
Take a look at the statistics here for the growing number of Crimes against Women.
Islam teaches us to take care, love and respect our women:
A man came to Allah's Apostle and said, "O Allah's Apostle! Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man said. "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man further said, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man asked for the fourth time, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your father."
There are many provisions provided for in Islam to safeguard and look after the rights of women in Islam but as usual, such plus points are usually overlooked by many biased and discriminating people from both sides of the coin so to speak in order to paint a gloomy and dreary picture about Islam to suit their anti Islam agenda.
It is up to the women of Islam to learn about what our Islamic Faith has to give them and take full advantage of such provisions and not to be guiled by those out to deviate them from the Mercy and Blessings of Allahu Ta'ala upon them.
'Paradise lies at the feet of your mothers!' is a famous saying attributed to the Blessed Prophet Muhammad Sallalahu Alaihi Wassallam.
How many of us really consider this and show our love and respect towards our mothers?
My mum has long returned to the Mercy of Allahu Rabbul Alamin but not a day goes by without me thinking of her and praying for her salvation. We who are Muslims pray for the wellbeing of our parents in each and every solat-prayer of us at least 5 times a day.
To those of us who have lost our parents but still have our wife / wives, do love them as best as we possibly can. They are the one /ones who will decide as to where we are to be buried when our time comes. :)
I for one love my wife with all my heart and she knows it. @};-
I dedicate the following song by Maher Zain ~ For the rest of my life - to my darling wife with the message ' Thank you for choosing me to spend the rest of your life with as long as we both shall live..Insya Allah!'
Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi 3272, narrated Abu Hurayrah
When Allah's Messenger was asked which woman was best he replied, "The one who pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of which he disapproves." [Nasa'i and Bayhaqi, in Shu'ab al-Iman transmitted it.]
May Allah bless us with the best that this life has to give us and accord to us our rightful partner in the hereafter.