Part of the Do'a Iftitah

"Verily my solats, my ibadah, my life and my death I surrender to Almighty Allah, Creator and Lord of all the worlds. Never will I associate anything with Him. So am I commanded and I am of those who are Muslims."

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Saturday, April 29, 2017

Starting all over again ~ Fresh start to the rest of your life.

Not all marriages last forever. Reason being that not everyone marries out of love. Some marry because they were forced out of some circumstances which they found themselves in.

Some marry out of pity. Some marry because they were indebted to the family of the husband or the wife. Some were duped into marrying on false promises.

Staying married but not in love:

Couples who live together but not in love do so for the sake of their children if they have them. Each would swallow whatever heartache and misery they were going through in a loveless forced union just for the children's interests.

If such a union was to be symbolised, you could equate it to a leaking boat caught in a doldrum waiting for a sudden tempest to break loose out there in the dark stormy ocean of marital chaos.

Reason for Depression:

Either way you are going down into the deep, dark depths of doom and gloom of the broken human heart. Depression and despair can overcome even the brightest of personalities and the smartest individuals that ever lived.

Unless.. just unless the couple breaking apart have it in them to stay afloat, rising from the gloomy depths of heartbreaking day to day conflicts and confrontations that eventually does take place between the two that finally drives the wedge through the union rendering it apart!

Not everyone has it in them to survive a breakup, separation and eventual divorce. 

Unless one has some stash of reserve spirit to be used in times of the most devastating calamities such as the moment one has no choice but to pull the plug, a divorce can knock the wind out of you and that dear brothers and sisters has in many cases driven quite a number of persons to take their own life.

Driven to suicide:

Commit that irreversible act of ending their existence here on Earth by choice. End it all. To hell with it. They lost hope. So be it. 

Depending on the weakness or strength of conviction of the person's sense of awareness of his or her religious beliefs, taking their own life has been the choice of the disillusioned few. 

Luckily for those of us who are Muslims, Islam strongly forbids suicide and anyone who does so will go straight to hell. No if's or but's about it. 

Surah An Nisa Chapter 4 Verse 29, Al Quran Al Karim:

And do not kill yourselves [or one another]. Indeed, Allah is to you ever Merciful.

I know it is easy for me to say so because maybe I am a tough cookie and quite weathered over the years having gone through the 'School of Hard Knocks' and in a way graduated from the 'University of Life'.

Not everyone has it in him or herself to be able to weather the storms that life throws at you. Even those whom we all thought were quite successful in their careers and life at times have taken the easy way out by ending their life.


 A case in point is the suicide of actor comedian superstar Robin Williams. He had everything that anyone can wish for but he wasn't happy in his life. 

He was the world's best comedian and we all enjoyed his amazing ability to liven up every show, event or movie that he starred in. Little did anyone know how miserable he was inside until he was found after having choked himself to death!

Way out:

Whether you like it or not, the only way out is Divorce.

You get a chance to start afresh albeit you might have to give up all your hard-earned wealth or title rights to jointly acquired properties or real estate.

You may even lose your rights to your children [if they are under-aged] because the Divorce courts always grants the mother custodial rights over you.

Except in special cases where the children might be in danger IF the mother is a drug addict, convicted felon, psychiatric patient, mentally disturbed, etcetera.

Thus, it does require you to give up on what you own and maybe your rights to your own flesh and blood ~ your children but for the sake of you to get a chance to live in peace and remain sane, sometimes you just have to bite the bullet so to speak and get out of that hellish marriage in order to be able to be free once again.
There is no other way. Divorce is at times better than to be bogged down in a loveless marriage full of strife and mayhem. 

Yes, you lose your children but the fact remains that they will forever be your own flesh and blood is irrefutable. See to it that their welfare is taken care of by surrendering whatever earthly material @ sustenance that you can afford to provide for their upkeep and maintenance is given to them.

It is true that they will miss out on your being there to love and care for them. It is true that they will not have you to comfort them and give them your fatherly support unlike their friends whose parents were not separated and were living in peace together in matrimony.

No one likes to be forced to leave their children but if it is the only way out for the father to remain sane and alive, then that is the sacrifice that they have to do.

The hurt is felt by both the father and the children but there is no other way to escape the situation where quarrels and fights take place almost daily or every other day due to the incompatibility between the unhappy couple.

Estrangement is the subsequent situation that comes into being as a result of the divorce but eventually the children will grow up and turn into adults themselves and maybe..just maybe they will have it in them to understand why their father was forced to leave them?

Nothing is more precious to a divorced parent than to have his children forgive and understand him for having to leave them but if he didn't, maybe they would have lost him forever for he might be forced to end his life and leave this life forever.

Islam forbids suicide but there have been cases where even Muslims chose to call it quits and do the unthinkable because they did not have the commonsense to end their unhappy marriage and start all over again..albeit lose their hard gained earthly material possessions and beloved children just so that they can start life all over again.

To those to whom this article might concern, do know that your father loves you forever and that he did so in order that he might get a second chance to live in peace and tranquility. He has suffered enough. 

Give him a chance to spend the remaining moments of his life with a better more understanding wife than having to suffer to his last breath with someone who doesn't appreciate him despite all that he had done for the family.

He deserves that.  

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